Soft Skills Redefined: Cultivating Leadership Through Vulnerability
Jul 15, 2025What if the skills we dismiss as "soft" are actually the most powerful tools in a leader's arsenal? Inspired by Esther Perel's compelling discussion about leadership vulnerability on Diary of a CEO, Anna and Kendall dive deep into why emotional intelligence and authentic communication transform workplace culture in ways that traditional management approaches simply cannot.
Both hosts immediately challenge the terminology itself. "I don't like the term soft skills. Let it be known as well," Anna states emphatically. "It's like the most powerful skill set you can have. Why is it called soft skills?" Kendall responds, capturing their shared frustration with language that diminishes the complexity and impact of these leadership abilities.
The conversation centers on one of leadership's greatest paradoxes: how to show vulnerability while maintaining the strength and direction teams need. Both hosts acknowledge their comfort with tears and emotional authenticity in the workplace, but emphasize the crucial boundaries required to prevent trauma bonding while still creating safe spaces for genuine human connection.
Kendall describes their structured approach: "We try to create some structure in our Wednesday meetings... that is a safe space when we're invited to check in, we're invited share. That's a safe container to really share like, hey, this has actually been a really difficult time for me." This intentional framework allows for emotional intelligence to flourish while maintaining professional effectiveness.
The hosts explore the shadow side of welcoming vulnerability in healthcare settings, where staff members' personal struggles must be balanced with their responsibility to provide excellent patient care. "Sometimes we're going through a difficult season of life for a long season and we still have to show up and be an awesome clinician," Kendall notes, highlighting the delicate balance required in trauma-informed leadership.
Both leaders share practical strategies for creating workplace cultures where team members feel safe requesting support. Anna emphasizes the power of regular check-ins and intuitive observation: "Making sure that I'm physically in the office, getting eyes on my employees and having the opportunity to look them in the eyes and check in on a regular basis." Her clinical background provides what she calls "a fairly elevated ability to see behind the words."
Kendall introduces the concept of "efforting"—a term she uses to describe the intentional work required to maintain high-quality team dynamics. "From the outside being on this team feels like a walk in the park... And I always tell people in the interview process, this takes more efforting to be here because we're all being incredibly intentional about how we interact with each other."
The conversation includes a powerful example of proactive leadership when Kendall shares confronting a struggling team member: "I looked at them and I said, I don't think that you're doing okay. Is that in alignment for you?" This direct yet compassionate approach demonstrates how emotional intelligence requires courage and skill, not just empathy.
Both hosts emphasize why healing professionals make exceptional leaders, noting that mental health counseling and alternative healthcare training naturally develops these competencies. However, they stress the importance of leaders having their own coaches and support systems. "We tend to think, oh, you know, we have the skills, we can do this on our own and we can't," Kendall observes.
The episode concludes with practical resources, referencing thought leaders like Esther Perel, Brené Brown, and Simon Sinek, as well as Level Up Leaders, therapists who specialize in trauma-informed leadership approaches. Both hosts offer direct support to listeners implementing these concepts in their own practices.
This conversation offers invaluable guidance for wellness practice owners seeking to develop authentic leadership styles that support both employee well-being and exceptional patient care through the strategic application of emotional intelligence and vulnerable leadership.
For information regarding the upcoming retreat, go to: https://www.wellnesscentercreators.com/retreats
Sponsored by Jane App, Jane offers online booking, charting, scheduling, secure video and invoicing on one secure, beautifully designed system: https://jane.app/ Use code wellness1mo for a one-month grace period on your new Jane account.
About Anna Rudel
Anna Rudel, L. Ac is the owner and founder of Lokahi Acupuncture Clinic in San Jose California, founded in 2003. Anna is a master organizer and clinician, and as a Coach she specializes in working with Clinic Owners in the state of California, and Acupuncturists and Acupuncture Clinic Owners, or groups wanting to add Acupuncture worldwide, as well as teams that need support with employee retention and satisfaction. Born in the UK, Anna has traveled extensively in Asia and now has a thriving multi-practitioner clinic in the US!
Anna's Website and Links
- Website: https://lokahiacupuncture.com/
- Learn Group Coaching: https://www.wellnesscentercreators.com/group-coaching
- For info about Individual Coaching: https://www.wellnesscentercreators.com/individual-coaching
About Kendall Hagensen
Kendall is a Somatic Mental Health Therapist, Multidisciplinary Clinic Owner and Business Coach. She specializes in, and is passionate about, working with healthcare professionals to create the businesses of their dreams. Big goals always have a psychological component beneath the surface, so Kendall uses her background in Somatic Psychotherapy and EMDR Therapy mixed with Business Coaching tools to help clients develop a healthy relationship with their business and their strength as a leader.
As someone who lives with a chronic illness herself, Kendall feels that health happens best within community, which is why she takes a holistic, integrative, and collaborative wellness approach to her personal and professional life.
Kendall’s Web/Social Links